A quiz to tell you what kind of Ikea furniture you are! I don't know what I like more. The rather interesting personality questions (I think I am most fond of question 3) or the fact I should be wary of the Posig cushion and the skyar floor lamp. Pity they don't include the html code.

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So, Kate & PansyCon 2004 has come and gone. We are putting away the glitter and the gladrags, restarting the diets, swearing off drink for a while [embarking on strange new relationships--well, some of us]. Was it worth it? A bus journey? a mis-directed long walk with luggage? a night in a bad hotel? two hours on the Dublin tarmac? a missed LA connection? Sleeping in an open plan house with a small dog who took great delight in barking at me? incessently? Missed freeway exits and four hours to Las Vegas? New and exciting debt on a new credit card? Was it worth it? Don't ask silly questions.

Due to the unforseen sinus infection many of the proposed outings never occurred. Didn't make it to Lotus of Siam. Never had a champage flight in Napoleans. Bought tickets but did not attend Thunder from Downunder . Probably fortuneately, didn't get the chance to even look through the windows at Tiffany's. I did get my truly individualistic luggage (which I am quietly confident no one else in Northern Ireland has) and a pair of oxblood penny loafers, so I am a happy bunny and I have the slippers to prove it!

Things I learned:

1) Never spend the night in Primm. What was I thinking? I mean for thirty bucks a night it was a perfectly workable hotel room despite the cottage cheese ceiling and the vinal shower curtain. But the waitress didn't want to get us alcoholic drinks ('I would have to go to the bar'). They were out of martini classes, had bad gin, tight slots, no working rollercoaster or log ride and well, we are a bit worried about the poor just arrived from Europe busser who seemed like a very nice girl but may be destined for the sex trade. Help us find a new better future for Marta.

2)Matthew Perry, I feel your pain. Can I tell you just how wonderful vicodin is? Bless Mel's mom who sent a small bag of it, amongst all the halloween candy, for any hangovers that might have developed. Back when I was writhing on the bed in misery thinking that my teeth needed to all be pulled out, it was what stopped me from going to the emergency room. It does just seem to make life just a little nicer.

3) THEhotel is the nicest hotel I have stayed in. I think. It had more tvs than the hotel I stayed in the first night I was married. And it was cheaper. Though it didn't come with breakfast. beautiful soft, down covered beds with lovely sheets. Great products in the bathroom. Bathrobe and slippers. Staff so friendly it scared me. I am also quite, quite taken with 55 degrees. And I haven't told anyone yet about the joys of the bathouse. The really big hot pool, the wet lounge and the tepid rain area.

4)Adult entertainment is not cheap. Look, you want the full story with all the details and a time frame of just when Mel decided to create an IE profile and how quickly she got a response, I most definitely need to be bought a drink. A great big designer drink. Quite possibly with grey goose in it. Then if you want even the hint of updates. More grey goose will need to be forthcoming. That is just the way it is. Somehow, one way or another, I found myself in what calls itself 'Adult Superstore' pricing dvds. $49.50. Which I find a bit surprising. I wonder who gets to keep the profits. But that could be another post entirely.

5) Yes, I missed the blessing. And she missed me. Which always amazes me because I think she is a bit like the cat, she much prefers the man in the house. But she was happy to have me back. Bearing gifts like rio beads and scooby-doo sneakers. I am deeply envious of her new haircut too.

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Proof, if any was needed, that the Bellgrano Corollary also holds true for the arachnid world.

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And I do hope to start wandering through my holiday recollections shortly. For now it is just too painful to realise I am at work and not going to spend the afternoon at Malibu, sand between my toes, book disgarded by my side, watching the surfers on larger than typical waves. This did bring a smile. Even though it isn't about sunshine. Or the ocean. Or offer the prospect of steamed artichokes for dinner.

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There are indeed tales to tell. All sorts of tales. About lovely Dolce and Garbanna tops. Primm. Chippendales. LAzy River. Crab legs comparisons. A lovely wine store. But I think all I want to say at the moment is sinus infection. So much pain. So much. But there was vicodin. Which might explain why I didn't end up in casualty. But it does mean I am dreading the flight home.

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No, really I do. I don't mind the flying bit. I am not scared of the plane falling out of the sky (well except for that trip to Las Vegas) but I really hate the whole experience of it. It brings out all sorts of very odd behaviours. My digestive system ties itself into knots, literally. i start checking and checking and checking again where are the passports, the money, the address book, etc. But it is all okay now. I am here. And I don't have to do it again for another 12 days.

I am on a foreign computer and well, there won't be any links. Which is a shame because I have so much I could link to . To begin with, I found this great bus service to get me to Dublin airport, Aircoach. They leave every hour and start at 6:30 am. Which if I had known before Wednesday afternoon, I wouldnt have gone down the night before and stayed in the Travelodge. Which I now know where it is, despite the bus dirver who sent me off, with my bags in the completely wrong direction. No idea why. next time I am just getting a taxi.

No first class for me. And two hours spent on the runway while they had to repair the air conditioning/pressure pack before we could take off. Too much of a head wind to make up any of the time. No surprise I missed my first connection to LAX. I also sat next to a plane spotter. I figure it was a good thing he was a white 50 something guy otherwise I would have thought peering out the window with binoculors, taking photos, writing down numbers and looking up info in his little Aviation book might be suspicious behaviour on an American carrier these days. But hey, some of my hobbies and interests aren't the most mainstream so who am I to complain?

The Delta employees in Atlanta were lovely. Which is remarkable. They have reduced me to tears the last two times I have flown through. Got a later flight to LAX. It was, of course, also delayed by a half hour. So I did a good 25-26 hours awake and here I am blogging for my loyal readership. Don't you suffer the urge to buy me a drink. Some kind of vodka martini. In the Coral Reef Bar. I'll be there Tuesday night. And if I win big on video poker, I am not going back! [No spellcheck, so this post is probably going to need even more editing than usual].

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\friday Quiz Time. Its what we are talking about this morning (when we aren't arguing over the 11+). I am a mastermind. Which could be very true.

Made a rash promise last night. Offered to make a friend's wedding cake. Slightly panicking this morning. But the date is in the diary!

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I live in hope that it will open in Banbridge. I've rented vans to go to the one in Warrington. I've done the ferry-shipping route. I will miss Ikea at the Ideal Home Show this year. But this could so easily be me.

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